|Content Warning: This song depicts racist ideas and language of the time and may be offensive or upsetting to listeners.|
18 Jonah Man (Reprise)
IF I HAD A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE,
I’D PUT OUT MY EYE WITH THE CORK.
IF I WAS STARVED AND IT RAINED SOUP,
I’D ONLY HAVE ME A FORK.
IF I HEADED OUT WITH AN UMBRELLA,
IT WOULD BE SUNNY AND WARM,
BUT PUT ME OUT IN MY DANDIEST SUIT,
IT WOULD SURELY STORM,
‘CAUSE I’M THE JONAH MAN,
UNLUCKY JONAH MAN.
THEY CALL ME JONAH MAN.
(Bert’s voice fails, and he falls to his knees.)